“Breathers A Zombie’s Lament”

I 100% absolutely LOVED this book.  The author was funny and I was able to read through the gross descriptions of eating live people without blinking an eye (or gagging).  So…a few more notes I jotted down before hopping into a mini synopsis.

1. At the end of Chapter 34 Rita’s heart begins to beat; weird, right?

2. “Something inside me has changed…Something instinctual.  I can feel it growing, wanting to take over.  And I can feel myself succumbing, seduced by this new feeling.” pg. 194.  Two thoughts.  1) With the first line I got “Defying Gravity” stuck in my head and now that’s the only thing I can think of when I read it.   2) Reminds me of vampires; more specifically Police Girl in the anime “Hellsing” who, after becoming a vampire, can’t bring herself to drink the packets of blood sent to her room because she’s afraid that she’ll lose the human part of herself to the darker side of what she’s become.

3. Andy’s dad wants to drop him off at a Zombie Zoo to recoup the thousands of dollars he’s lost in wine consumed.  At this juncture Andy finally reveals to his parents that he’s regained his ability to speak and unveils it in one simple phrase “Fuck you dad”.  pg. 201

4.  A few pages later Andy’s heart begins to beat; something strange is definitely going on here

5. Chapter 41, Ray is ‘arrested’ for eating Breathers.  How did they find out?

6. Andy’s capture by SPCA sparks a national interest in his story and he becomes a celebrity practically overnight.  “…not every savior is holy.  Not every saint is a paragon of virtue.” pg. 259

7. “Zombies are just the latest in a long line of those who’ve been oppressed by the ruling elite.” pg. 263.  I was wondering when they were goingn to bring this up.  In previous paragraphs he pointed out that African-Americans were first oppressed, then women weren’t allowed to vote, we put Japanese Americans in ‘camps’, and etc…

8.  My biggest WTF thought came on pg. 267 when Rita announces that she’s pregnant.  Really?  Another flashback memory to “Angel” when he impregnated Darla; it shouldn’t happen and yet it did.

9. “Now we’ve alerted everyone to our presence…they’re not happy about it…they’re annoyed we had the audacity to speak up.” pg. 278

10. Sigma Chi, the same fraternity responsible for Tom losing his arm have now immolated Rita & their unborn baby.  Group is coming to exact revenge.

11. I found a Chuck Palahniuk-likeness in the book and it didn’t really hit me ’til last night.  Every so often (maybe once a chapter?  Less often?) the phrase “If you’ve never….then you wouldn’t understand” which while repetitive, repetitive in a funny way.  Not in the same way it was annoying in “Choke”.

The basic premise of the book is that Andy has reanimated from the dead and become a zombie.  He discovers that zombies are looked down upon with complete disdain and fear.  All people know of zombies are that they are rabid flesh-eating monsters from George Romano movies.  Multiple times in the beginning of the book Andy insists that the ‘real’ kind of zombie does not eat humans, indeed eating in itself has become more out of habit than any natural instinct.  He finds the irony in how a bus filled with Breathers could be afraid of one single zombie minding his own business but when darkness falls there’s no holding back.  Filled with the courage of alcohol and the cover of darkness people destroy that which they don’t (or care to) understand.  Inspired by Helen’s messages of how to deal with being a zombie in a Breather world, Andy intends to ‘fight’ for his right to have basic human rights.  But by doing so he has to ponder what exactly it means to be ‘human’ or a ‘citizen’.  After all, as a reanimated corpse you are not even counted as ‘on the grid’; your social security number is taken away and everything about your former life is no longer available.  His protests land him at the pound a handful of times which only causes more friction between his non-understanding father and himself.  From the get-go you can tell that it will be Andy’s dad that invites his inevitable destruction.

When Andy and a few other members of Undead Anonymous meet Ray, you can feel a shift of how things are going to be.  They innately know that there’s something about that venison that revs their engines, but at this point they aren’t going to analyze it too much; as Andy later ruminates, either because they were scared to admit what they were doing or they knew and just didn’t care.  After consuming so many jars of Ray’s ‘venison’, everyone begins to notice a change.  Most noticeably Andy who before was unable to speak and is now croaking out words and healing in places that should stay broken.  Helen, the leader of Undead Anonymous, is not oblivious to this and announces to the group that they only way this could possibly happen is if they’d been eating Breathers.  She advises them to stop eating the Breather venison because someone will begin to notice and that will not be good for their reputation.  Ironically everyone turns up at Ray’s granary including Helen.  Whether or not she was looking for venison isn’t clear, but I can’t imagine what else she’d be doing there.

With the slaughter of Andy’s parents the members of Undead Anonymous go on a Breather feeding frenzy.  They have a BBQ and pot lucks and bring Breather snacks to meetings.  Every time Andy sees a Breather all he can imagine is how they would taste.  By the end of the book this leads Andy to the ultimate realization that you can suppress your natural instincts, but once you get a taste for it, you cannot ignore it.  So maybe zombie movies got it right; zombies do like to eat people.

A lot of things in this book come full circle at the end which I liked.  I really enjoyed the ending itself and didn’t feel as if anything was left hanging.  So for a completely goofy and silly and funny read, you should definitely go and get this book.